Glowing!

On Thursday in my weekly staff meeting someone told me that my skin was "Glowing".... I chalked it up to the fact that I actually washed my face and EVEN used a facial scrub to get rid of some dead skin and moved on.. I even forgot about this conversation...

Then I believe on Friday, which was 1/11 my boobs were kind of sore... not really but there was a slight uncomfortableness with them... and on Saturday they became worse... I, of course, googled it and it said my period was coming... I consulted my app on my phone and sure enough I was due to start my period, but then I found myself with this feeling that my period wasnt actually going to come...

Then on Monday I couldnt focus at work on bit!! I found myself googling all sort of pregnancy things, and even reconsulting my app on my phone to see that I actually could be prego becuase of the timing of things..

Happy 30th to me! :) TMI?

Then I left work and went to the grocery store... I told my mom about my feeling and about how I was going to grab a test... she advised not to so soon but of course I did anyways. I came home and set it out on the counter and when Daniel came home it took him by a huge surprise... I had told him of my suspicion briefly.  While I was at the grocery store I found myself forgetting my reason for being there.. I walked to the back of the store like 3 times to get 3 different items and found myself passing the same men having a conversation near the eggs and worrying about them judging me for being so random... I actually even said to myself that this was surly a sign!

That night I took some internet quizzes to see if I was pregnant.. ya know, cause they would know! ;) And I was a little grumpy and mouthy which I thought was indeed my period coming but still just knew it wasnt.

I went to bed and had very vivid dreams of me taking the pregnancy test.. the outcome being positive and then repeat...

The next morning I waited until Daniel was in the shower, grabbed the test and went into Oliver's bathroom...

One line appeared instantly... the one that tells you its working of course...and I got a twinge of disappointment... even though we hadn't actually tried that month and I had just gotten off the pill and a positive test would have put a damper on the winery, Savannah, Halloween Hoot...

and then slowly, this little faint line in the first box appeared... I grabbed my mouth.. in an attempt to not let the smile run off my face... I walked ever so quickly across the house and just laughed as I held up the test..

Daniel said Really?!! And we just smiled together.

I was completely shaking... And then we both said

"Here we go again" lol

The BIG kids

We have some new neighbors that moved in about 6 months ago.. They are really nice and they have 3 boys, one of them is an infant while the other two are probably 6 or 7, maybe 7 or 8. I dont really know exactly but around here they are known as "the big kids" or "the boys"..... They have always been sweet to him but he was a shy 2 year old.. like he always said... lol. Well now he is a fiesty three year old and taking life by the horns..

The other day I came home from work and the weather was BEAUTIFUL so Oliver and my mom were outside on the "stoop" so we all sat outside and talked and Oliver played.. Then the boys came out and Oliver went right over and waved and said hi and they started playing... It was soo precious seeing him be so outgoing and strong and well, cool. I of course grabbed his impressive field goal and kicking thing to help Oliver be cool but he really held his own.

I sat on the steps reading a magazine which was AWESOME.. I went in and out of the house a few times and I bid on too much on Ebay... He was out there for like an hour and a half.. I couldn't make him come in. The neighbor boys even had some friend stop by and they got along with Oliver too. I heard one boy keep calling Oliver "little dude" until the boys next door corrected him. I even heard him say that he thought Oliver was his kind of guy... Haha.. I completely sound like a 13 year old girl obsessing over a boy!

On Saturday we did lawn work and Oliver hung out with them for a while and you can just tell that he LOVES it.

Then on Sunday... they came over and rang the bell to see if Oliver could come out and play!! OMG.. that is so cool. He was exhausted having missed his nap from playing with Ava and of course pushed through and went out to play.. This time I sat in my bedroom and had the windows open so i could hear them.. They had a blast and I could even hear them having conversations! Soo stinking cute. I came out one time cause I heard them starting to say goodbye and Oliver said word from word ... "No Mommy, you go back inside and I will meet you in there!!"

Then as I turned away to go inside I heard him say to the boys..... Bye, I love you!! HAHA!! I of course talked to him when he came inside of who to say that too... Luckily the boys are sweet and probably didnt think much of it... Oliver is soo stinking cute!!

Oliver was on cloud nine that night and even the next day at school. On his note home from the teacher it said that he talked about playing with the big kids... haha.. and then he talked about how he was out there alone to my mom and how cool that was. He did tell her that when i was in my bedroom watching them through the window he was worried that the boys would see me naked and they would laugh... I have NO idea where he gets things from.

Sweet Little Guy

Please, please, please excuse my gross nail polish, but it was such a precious moment. This little guy was at the doctor with me confirming some big news! He has no idea what is going on yet but this is such a great sign that the timing is perfect.

Secret Keeper

It's no lie that I have and am not much of a secret keeper. Of course I can be trusted with serious secrets and life altering ones but I tend to out all my lives details on the table so don't think too much about discussing what others would deem a secret... but I found out yesterday that Oliver is a secret keeper! And from ME!!

He did tell my mom the juicy gossip and of course she didn't tell me, I just know all this from a little birdy that came to visit me, the same one that used to visit my grandmother!

Monday after school he got in the car and told my mom that he fell down and got hurt... my mom asked him if the teachers took care of him and he said no they told him to go sit down, he was in trouble. She asked why he was in trouble and he said he didn't want to tell her and that is was a secret ... then he finally told her it was because he tackled Gavin... but Gavin didn't even fall, Oliver did.

(Side note: Gavin must be the biggest, strongest 3 year old in the world cause Oliver can tackle the crap out of someone!)

They were discussing this and I think my mom said why cant we tell me.. he thought about it and asked her what I would say if he told me... she said she didn't know so he decided it would be best not to tell!!

I feel so left out!! lol

A few highlights of one of the best years of my life

My 29^th Year

Rang in the New Year and final year of my 20’s by dancing in the Atlanta streets in a circle doing the jersey turnpike.
Surprised my husband with a 30^th birthday trip to Vegas
Saw Vegas and Hoover Dam
Ran the Princess Half Marathon at Disney and went to 3 Disney Theme Parks
Girls Weekend with Tami and Laura in Savannah
Partied on Bourbon Street and spent a long weekend in New Orleans
Ran the Dirty Girl Mud Run
Oliver was Baptized
Visited the North GA wineries
Rocked out at Luke Bryan, Jason Aldean, Brad Paisley, Miranda Lambert and Toby Keith
Memorial Day weekend on Lake Lanier
Attended Mother Son date night at Chickfila
Hosted a Bunco girls night
Spent 4^th of July weekend in Myrtle Beach and visited friends in North Carolina
Spent a week vacation with family in St. Augustine
Was an extra in the movie Ring of Fire – meet Jewel
Vacationed to Cape San Blas Florida for a party weekend with friends *
Party bus and adventures  at wedding for Wes and Erica in West GA
Organized a Staff Kick Ball game and was pitcher
Added Team Mom to my resume
Halloween in Jacksonville with Smith family celebrating a great woman’s life
Staff outing karaoking
Girls Night karaoking and dancing on a Tuesday
Went back to Dance School
Heather in town
Cabin in Helen for birthday
Made a baby!

There are no words, well maybe a few

Its been a while now that i have been planning to end this blog.. i havent written since April and we are a week away from Christmas so I would say that I really have finished this journey... at least for now.

But i didnt think i would end on such a somber note, when it started so bright so I am going to post today in a beginning process of wrapping this up... I just paced around my living room crying thinking of ways in my head to teach my sweet innocent Oliver what to do in danger when i or others are not there to protect him... Im not kidding.. I literally thought of ways to explain to a child that thinks the sun goes to IKEA when it gets dark.. how to play dead when others around him may really be so. REALLY?

I am starting to question why I brought him into a world like this... why I am starting to consider bringing another one to join him... I am questioning my own sanity of selfishness from wanting them here with me in this what seems to be awful world... and i know...

I need to stop.. I need to be realistic but this is a slipperly slope of thoughts and not where my head should be a week before Christmas. I need to be excited to have my child, my mother, my husband and the rest of my family for one more day.

On a brighter note... I finally did Oliver's 3 yeat old interview. I want to make it all cute and stuff but for now... here it is!

Oliver’s 3^rd Birthday Interview

Name: Matt Ryan is my real name… My little name is Oliver Tired Mith – haha.. no S.
How old are you? Ummm 3
How old are mommy and daddy? Bigger and sooo soo soo bigger

When I was little I used to ….. play football.. when I was a baby I played baseball
Favorite color….umm brown – says I need to go play now… How long is this going to take?”
Favorite foods….chicken nuggets, peanut butter and jelly, ketchup and hamburger and I don’t know all the other ones… noodles, I like.
Favorite TV show…. Lightening McQueen and Arthur Christmas
Favorite animal….. Rudolph
Best buddies.....Kale and Chase from school.. and Luke
Girlfriends..... Emmaline, Norah and Kensley at school… Eva at church and Madi at Danielle’s house
Favorite toys….. Lightening,
When I grow up I want to be ….. A big Daddy!!
What I have learned by the age of 3 is….. ummm Lightening McQueen, and to sleep in a big boy bed cause I didn’t know that and I used to sleep in a crib.
What is important to you… going to play

That’s all I need to tell you, I need to go play now.

What Oliver asked Santa for this year…
1^st Santa at Gigi work – Julio Jones McFarlane toy and Peyton Manning McFarlane with the orange shirt on from college not pro football
2^nd Santa at Mall- Doc Hudson from the CARS movie
interview conducted on December 18^th, 2012

FB 12/13

Pizza, wine and a little boy that just asked me to cuddle while we watch a Christmas movie... This may be exactly what I need to get me in the spirit!