Lately...

(another one i just found from a draft... no reason not to post it... )

I may have used this title before but i figured if i didnt remember that no one else would either...



I have had alot going on in my little mind lately... nothing new or out of the ordinary since my mind is usually always running with random thoughts. I actually really like this about myself, well most of the time. I generally consider myself to be very opinated on things that are important to me and honestly there isnt much that is that important to me so many people may not know what a passionate opinatated person i am...



Well i thought today i would list out the things on my mind "lately" and then kind of discuss them.. This is probably not the most exciting of blogs but i feel it will be very theraputic.



My life - how did i get here? i ask this question in a good way... it still seems like yesterday i was that little girl dating, and not dating my high school sweetheart and wondering if there was anything else out there. And then that anything else was there right in the living room to be exact. True and amazing story and when daniel and i reminisced about this story the other night in a crowded living room it still brought tears to my eyes (another not out of the ordinary aspect of my life)... I discussed months ago about these flashbacks i have of the past 6 and a half years Daniel and i have been together and these flashbacks fly so quickly through my mind and i just want to grab them and pull them close to be and then i realize they are already here and im not going to loose them. I cannot believe the journey my life has been on since meeting my husband and i am in even more shock of where that journey is heading.



Motherhood - They are just going to let me take this little guy home? This question keeps plaging my mind... Seriously, god is basically saying to me that he trusts me with the most amazing gift.. and not just for a few hours at $12.00 an hour.. like for life... for the rest of my life i am now Oliver's mom. I am responsible for this person. I am going to teach him about the world, how to be a good person, how to love another person and how to ride a bike. I dont need a degree for this? A licensce? Anything? Haha... i am joking.. well partially... I am not at all nervous about it just shocked and amazed that its really happening... some days i am surprised by the fact that we have kept our dog alive for 6 years....



my mom - i am amazed and excited and happy for her and her new journey and our new journey. I want to see her get the most out of life with her friends, family and of course me! I dont know what else i have been thinking about her "lately" but lately she has been on my mind alot.



Other "lately" thoughts...



- I am in love with my friendship life right now... i feel like i am strengthening relationships with people i want in my life and seeking out friendships that will be good for me and my future. The rest i dont care about anymore. I have an amazing best friend, great "sister in laws" a few who are extremely close to me and then my group, my 2nd family. the rest... im done... i have always heard that having a baby could make or break friendships and its not so much the baby but your priorities... i am not trying to sound smug or anything but my life has changed and i am really happy with where its ending up... or rather where its begining.



- cleaning - I need to figure out a way to keep my home up to my standards without ever killing myself to do so... once oliver comes i know that laundry and baseboards will not be a concern of mine but i would like to find a balance between spotless and just not doing things at all...



- working out- me and daniel had a fabulous conversation about getting into shape and becoming healthy... yes we have tried this before but maybe now (after Oliver is born) we will be mature enough to do this.



- happy - I am usually one to stress, worry and focus on negative.. it doesnt consume me but i do get concerned with the what if's or playing after work is done... lately i have seen myself evolve from that person and although i will still stress and worry i have been feeling on cloud 9 lately.. I am so lucky and so happy in life right now. I may have a ton of weight ahead of me to loose or a credit card balance that isnt as low as id like it but i am so completely happy and i know those things i want to fix will be fixed in no time when i put my mind to it. As for now my mind is focused on so much other stuff.